Oh, you silly Mayans.
Well, here it is. A new year. This year, I’ve decided to abandon the traditional “New Year Resolution” bullshit. Why might that be, you ask? Because NO ONE EVER ACTUALLY STICKS TO THEIR NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS. Ask any of your gym-rat friends how busy the gym is in January in comparison to how busy it is in February. The difference is huge – by the time the end of January rolls around, the resolutioners have dropped off, and the regulars don’t have to fight for machines and free weights anymore. How do I know this? My friends, the regulars, have told me so… you know, after I’ve stopped going to the gym around January 17th. Every year, I come up with some lofty list of changes I’ll be making for the better, and few of them stick. The year I resolved to quit smoking went fabulously – mainly because I was already a non-smoker. How about instead of making some grandiose resolution, I focus on making small changes that all work together to create a better, faster, stronger Mishap? Sound good to you? Either way, I don’t really care, and this concept shall henceforth be known as making New Years tweaks. Tweaks to my sleep habits, my cleaning routine, my exercise plan (meaning I should actually probably start exercising), etc.
2012. Stop panicking, assholes. So according to the ancient Mayans, this is the beginning of the end. Our world is going to end sometime in December. Guess what – if that’s what is going to happen, we have no way of stopping it. There is nothing in our power that can be done to stop this. So for those of you freaking out, knock it the fuck off. Live your life as you always do, or maybe spice it up a bit to make the year worth it. I’d be willing to be, however, that we will all (well, most of us at least) still be here once the ball drops to indicate 2013 has rolled on in.
New year, new opportunities? Everyone loves the idea of the new year because, for some reason, it smacks of “fresh start.” I cannot tell you how many Facebook posts I’ve seen claiming “2012 is MY YEAR” or “I’m going to kick 2012′s ass” or “This will be the year my life doesn’t suck anymore.” Guess what? You make your own opportunities. You have control (in some way or another) to ensure your life doesn’t suck. WHY OH WHY do we get complacent during the middle months of the year, only to play the resolution “life changing” BS once midnight strikes on December 31. I know, I know. I sound like a cynical bitch. I’m not apologizing for it. ANY DAY OF THE YEAR is a great time to make changes for the better, to make decisions you should have made a while ago, to step up your game and to make something happen. Been meaning to lose weight or work out or eat healthier? DO IT. DO IT NOW. Don’t wait until the time it seems socially expected to make a change. Hate the relationship you’re in? End it. Don’t like your job? Figure out why, and either do something to fix it or find a new one. Was this supposed to be the year you penned the next Great American Novel? Start writing. Upon closer examination, this is some advice I’ll be taking myself. Strap yourselves in, that alone is going to be a bumpy ride. ANY day can be the first day of the rest of our lives – not some over-celebrated holiday that serves as amateur hour for any asshole to get belligerently drunk and black out for a few hours.
Keep your eye out – I’ll be posting here more often (yeah yeah, you’ve heard it before, blah blah). Just another New Years tweak from yours truly.
XOXO
