Sigh.

Dear NHL/NHLPA Powers That Be,

I am a hockey fan. More specifically, I am an ORANGE-AND-BLACK-BLEEDING, die-hard, love-my-team-even-when-they-lose, Pittsburgh-hating, Sidney-Crosby-taunting, ever-hopeful-for-the-Cup Flyers fan. My love for the sport and the Flyers began early. My dad played club hockey when I was just a wee lass, and he is a Flyers fan through and through. He and I have shared our love for the sport and our team ever since I was old enough to understand what hockey was. Gene Hart’s voice was a staple in our living room on game nights, and we both still get chills when we hear his daughter, Lauren Hart, sing God Bless America or our National Anthem before a game. We make it to games at the Wells Fargo Center when we can, and share fond memories of taking in games at the Spectrum. This season, however, we have yet to make any hockey-related memories. Why is that, you might ask? Ohhhh right. Because you guys can’t get your shit together and end this lock out.

I’ve read numerous articles on numerous sites (some of my favorites in the Philly area are The Orange Update, Buzz on Broad, and Broad Street Hockey), and I’ve got to say – it certainly does not look like any of you give a damn about your fans. Gary Bettman, the owners, Don Fehr, et. al… you have all had us on an emotional roller coaster all week. Wednesday night, there were rumors flying that we could get word of the season FINALLY starting. I cannot tell you how many of us were obsessively refreshing our Twitter feeds and holding our breath to hear if the sport we love so much would be something we get to experience this season. When Thursday rolled around, we were hearing a different tune. An agreement is now a long ways off, and cancellations at LEAST through the first of the year are likely on their way. You’ve already taken All Star Weekend and the Winter Classic away from us, and robbed us all of the first half of the season.

If you search NHL Lockout on YouTube, I can guarantee you will find video after video of fans expressing their disappointment, their passion, their frustration, and their sadness. Hockey fans aren't like baseball or football or basketball fans. If you've ever been to an NHL playoff game, you will know I'm not simply being biased. The atmosphere is unmatched, the fans are unrivaled. We take every single play, every single penalty, every single goal personally. We may not be on the ice with our teams, but for those sixty mintues, we live and breathe their every move. In Philadelphia, we have fans who are staples at every game:

Dave “The Sign Man” Leonardi

Dave “The Sign Man” Leonardi, has been a presence at Flyers games longer than I’ve been alive (you can catch a great write up about him here). Every single home game, “The Sign Man” is there, with a plethora of signs, taunting the visiting team and encouraging our boys in Orange & Black.  Dancin’ Shawny, seen below, is a Flyers staple as well, getting the crowd rowdy and ready to go.

Dancin’ Shawny Hill

These super fans, if you will, are only a part of the Flyers experience. From the electric atmosphere in the WFC, to the hoardes of people that cram into local bars to catch a game, to my dad, who typically watches at home and yells at the TV, the Flyers are a part of our lives. We wear their colors year round, we count down the days until our home opener, and our blood pressure rises and falls with the ups and downs of every game. Without the fans, what do you, as a league, have left? Empty buildings, no revenue, and no reason for existence. When did you forget this?

I understand that the NHL is a business, each team in itself, is a business. The goal of a business is to make money, and I think on a rational level, your fans all understand that. What we don’t understand, is how you can so blindly continue this charade, when WE are your source of income. Sure, you make money off your advertisers, but at the end of the day, without us, there is no NHL. The millions of dollars in ticket sales, concessions, merchandise, etc. you pull in every year? Gone without the fans, the people you have so blatantly betrayed this 2012-2013 season. This lock out is about money, and as it stands now, you aren’t making any. Locking the players out doesn’t put butts in seats, it doesn’t sell tickets. You know what it does? It pisses us off. It depresses us. It makes us lose trust in you, and it makes us question how many more times we can go through this (since, you know, Mr. Bettman, this is the THIRD lockout we’ve seen during your reign as NHL commissioner).

Do you know how hard it is to see our favorite players board planes to far-off countries to play for leagues overseas? To worry that they could sustain a career-ending injury wearing a sweater that doesn’t bear our favorite team’s logo? To wonder if they’re ever coming back? Do you know what it’s like to wait all summer long and to count down the days until our teams take the ice, only to find out your greed and unwillingness to play nice with one another means no hockey? Do you know how many casual fans you lost last lockout, or how many you will likely lose after this one? It is now December, and we have yet to see NHL hockey. Do you know what that’s like for your fans who spend hundreds of of dollars for a night at one of your arenas to see our favorite players in the flesh? It doesn’t seem like you do, because we still don’t have a season.

The only positive I can see in this lock out is how it has brought the fans together. As much as we love our rivalries, we love our sport more. The love of the game transcends team loyalties. This lockout has reached a point where most of us no longer care who is right or who is wrong. We just want hockey back. And we want it back now.

Frustrated and Defeated,

The Walking Mishap

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Tommy Gabel of Against Me! comes out as Transgender – way more punk than any of you.

**Disclaimer** I am a straight woman who has never once questioned her sexual orientation or her gender. I am not entirely educated on the subject, nor do I know anyone who is transgender. This is probably not even a topic I should be sticking my nose in on, but I am in complete awe of the balls (no pun intended) it must take not only to come out as transgender, but to do so in such a public, out-in-the-open manner.

A couple of nights ago, a friend of mine tweeted me this article, asking if I had seen it. Tom Gabel, the frontman of one of my favorite punk bands, Against Me!, had come out as transgender and would be living as Laura Jane Grace from here on out. After having a “HOLY SHIT, NO WAY,” moment, I was simply impressed and in awe of what it must have taken to invite Rolling Stone into her home, and to share this with them, knowing it would be national news once the magazine hit print. My biggest question, in all honesty and selfish as it may be, was “what does this mean for the band?” – because honestly, they’re badass. Their song “Thrash Unreal” got me through some pretty hard times, when I thought diving to the bottom of a bottle was the best solution for my problems. Tom’s (I use Tom and he in the next few sentences because I’m speaking in past-tense, and the music I’m referring to was performed as Tom. voice is gritty to the core, a perfect fit for the type of music Against Me! plays. Tom’s solo album, Heart Burns, is an even better example. For the sake of exposing yourself to kick ass music, see the following:

Thrash Unreal

Harsh Realm

Anyway… in the full Rolling Stone article (highly recommended – you need to be a subscriber to Rolling Stone to get it in full online, otherwise I’d link it), Laura answers that question. She says, “Imagine me, six foot two, in heels, fucking screaming in someone’s face.” HELL FUCKING YES, is what I have to say to that.

I think the most enlightening and awesome part of the whole article, is the immense support and apparent lack of trepidation from Heather Gabel, Laura’s wife. She has decided, in the face of such a major change, to stand by her spouse. How many women do you know that would do that? Would you be able to stay with your spouse or significant other if they one day told you that they were born in the body of the wrong sex? As much as I would love to say I absolutely would, I’m not sure I can say so without actually being put in the position to make said decision. Heather’s got a long road ahead of her, just as Laura does, and I am so impressed with the things she said in the RS article.

As expected/hoped… it seems as though the punk community is supporting Laura Jane Grace with open arms. So many of the bands/artists that I follow (Cory Branan, NoFx, Lawrence Arms, The Gaslight Anthem, Dave  Hause, and many others) all either directly or not so directly tweeted and/or blogged their support for a fellow punk rocker whom many of them have toured with. In reading more and more articles, it seems as though while the majority of the feedback is positive, there are some assholes who just have nothing nice to say. I won’t dignify their ignorance and intolerance (and frankly, their lack of humanity) toward Laura by putting it here in print, but I can say, it is some of the most ugly hatespeech I’ve ever had the displeasure of reading. Those people are the reason I’m writing this.

Some of these folks claim to be “deeply rooted” in the punk scene – “fans” of Against Me! who have been there since day one – and they have not only made awful comments about Laura’s decision, but in some comments I’ve seen, they say Laura goes against everything that IS punk. Excuse me… to those people, all I have to say is FUCK YOU. I know people who consider themselves punk that wear suits to work every day. Who have spent their youth in church basements and who have lived, breathed, eaten, and slept punk rock. Who, if you were to run into them on the street, you’d have no idea they’re covered in ink and rage out in their car to the likes of Against Me! and The Ramones. It’s not the clothes you wear, it’s not the job you have, it’s not anything but WHO YOU ARE and WHAT YOU STAND FOR. At it’s core, isn’t punk about being whoever the fuck you want to be? What it boils down to, at least in my humble opinion, is simply being yourself and not giving a shit what anyone has to say about it. That’s the most simplified explanation I can give.

Based on that philosophy, Laura Jane Grace is more punk rock than anyone in recent memory. Good for her.

Dear Administrators and Members of the Board,
I am an alumna of Garrettford Elementary School, Drexel Hill Middle School, and Upper Darby High School. I am a product of the Upper Darby School District Music Program.  From the time I entered the district in first grade, until the day I graduated from Upper Darby High School, the related arts classes, and more specifically, the music program played an integral role in my education, my personal development, and helped shaped me into who I am today. I am heartbroken to hear that, in the face of a budgeting crisis, your first line of defense and financial recovery is to cut the related arts from our elementary schools.
During my time as a student within Upper Darby School District, I was a proud member of Garrettford’s Fifth Grade Chorus, DHMS’s chorus, Concert Singers, Girls’ Ensemble, and Marching Band, and Upper Darby High School’s Chorus and Concert Choir. As a student who was not athletically inclined, and who was cut from the middle school field hockey team, these groups taught me what it meant to be part of a team. The teachers I encountered during my time in these groups inspired me to be better, to do better, both on stage and as an individual. To Mrs. Pennington, Mr. Pulacik, Mr. Turbedsky, Mr. Rider, Mrs. Schneider-Salhi, and Mrs. Benglian, I say thank you. Thank you for opening doors to me as a student I wouldn’t have known existed without you. Thank you for providing me with a place that I fit in.
As you discuss and debate the merits of keeping or cutting our music program, please consider that the building in which you are holding your board meetings, the Upper Darby Performing Arts Center, was my second home for four years of my life. It was the second home of friends that I considered family, and still do. On the second floor of that building is a room with rows of red chairs sitting on risers, with a piano in the center of it. To many of you, it is just a room. To myself and to so many others, we still consider that room a part of our home. In that room, under the direction of Mrs. Barbara Benglian, we became one voice.
Whether it was choir class, a last minute rehearsal, an actual performance, or a national competition, Mrs. Benglian demanded we give our best. Friends of mine that went to other local high schools joined the chorus because it was an easy “A.” Students at Upper Darby knew better, and joined the music programs because we wanted to be the best. During my time in Concert Choir, we continuously earned the title of Grand Champions at competitions. Our soloists won awards, as did the Encore Singers. Because of the high standard Mrs. Benglian held us to, we held ourselves to the same high standard. It is that high standard that I continue to hold myself to, in everything that I do.
Not only were we held to this high standard musically, but we were also held to an academic standard. Had it not been for that standard, my grades probably would not have been what they were. My main motivation, skewed as it may have been, was to make sure that I stayed academically eligible to perform. My grades that were not the only thing the music program helped me maintain. Without my second home, without Chorus and Concert Choir, I would not have built the confidence I did within those groups. I would not have built the friendships or lasting memories, either. Without the musical foundation built by my elementary and middle school teachers, I do not think I’d have been so strongly committed to the music program as a high-schooler. For so many of us, the Upper Darby Performing Arts Center was our home away from home, and it was where we began to learn who we would be as adults. It kept us off the streets and out of trouble, and more importantly, it gave us something to be proud of.
As a concerned alumna, I implore to you afford current and future students the same opportunities I was given as a student of Upper Darby School District. Allow them to experience greatness, because it is what they deserve.
Thank you,

Danielle
Upper Darby High School, Class of 2003

I cannot begin to describe the level of discipline and excellence that was instilled in me through being involved in this music program. I cannot begin to list the memories, the lessons I learned, or the relationships I forged during my time as a member of this organization. This program saved me, in all honesty. Middle school was an awful time for me – my friends from elementary school had become “too cool” by the time we hit sixth grade – their parents allowed them to dress like baby whores and loiter in convenience store parking lots and mine didn’t.  I was cruelly teased by girls that had once been my best friends and confidants. Upon joining the chorus and later auditioning and being accepted into Concert Singers and Girls’ Ensemble at the middle school level, I found a second home.  I made new friends, ones who didn’t have futures as teen moms and criminals, and I learned about myself. I learned what it was to be a part of something so much bigger than myself.  I gained confidence. I gained a voice. In high school, I think it’s possible I spent more time at the Upper Darby Performing Arts Center than I did my own home . My parents supported and encouraged my involvement, coming to every performance we had to offer. 

If you are from the greater Philadelphia area, and even if you aren’t, PLEASE check out saveudarts.org <— This site has all the information needed to help myself, countless alumni, current students, and district parents take action, and make sure the very voice I was given by this program is heard.

I STAND WITH UPPER DARBY SCHOOL DISTRICT, THEIR RELATED ARTS AND MUSIC FACULTY, ALUMNI AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, CURRENT AND FUTURE STUDENTS WHO DESERVE TO EXPERIENCE AND BE A PART OF EXCELLENCE, JUST AS I WAS.

Dear Whomever You May Be:

Thank you. Thank you for being pathetic. Thank you for being a coward. Thank you for not having the cajones or ovaries to confront me about your issues like an adult. Thank you for annoying the ever loving shit out of me on a near daily basis. Thank you for demanding I stop talking to a particular individual.  Thank you for calling me the vulgar names that you have called me, for trying to break me down, and for attempting to break my stride. Thank you for pissing me off.  Thank you.

I know thanking you makes me sound, well, just as crazy as you are, but allow me to continue before passing judgement. There’s a method to my madness.

I thank you for being pathetic and weak because it shows me how strong I am.

 I thank you for being a coward because it’s a reminder to face things head-on, instead of burying my head in the sand like an ostrich.

I thank you for not having the cajones or ovaries to confront me about your issues like an adult because it reminds me how far I’ve come; it reminds me that five years ago, I would have stooped to your level and tried to retaliate.

I thank you for annoying the everloving shit out of me because it’s taught me how to brush simple annoyances away, as though they don’t even exist.

I thank you for demanding I stop talking to that individual because in light of all this, it’s taught me they may not be as good a friend as I had once thought. It has reminded me that I DESERVE BETTER.

I thank you for the vulgar names that you have called me, for trying to break me down, and for attempting to break my stride because it shows me how small you truly are. It shows me that you view me as a threat. It shows me that you’re more insecure than even I was at one point in my life, and it makes me feel sorry for you. It also shows me how far I’ve come, that I’m able to hold my head high and know that your harassment truly has nothing to do with me, and has everything to do with your own low self esteem.

I thank you for pissing me off because it drives me to be a better person. It drives me to be stronger. It drives me to continue to brush you off like the nothing you are.

Your serve, Bitch.

XOXO

The Mishap

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First and foremost, I’d like to preface this letter with a bit of a mea culpa for us chicks. I’m breaking chick law by doing this, but I want to make it clear that neither gender is innocent or pure. So here’s the truth about us women. We’re crazy. We get moody for no reason, we change our minds at the drop of a hat, and we get cranky when you point this out to us. We expect you to read our minds and know when something is bothering us. We get jealous of other girls, even if they are no threat at all. We have insecurities that sometimes rear their ugly heads, and when we say everything’s “fine,” you better get to guessing what’s wrong, because everything is most definitely NOT fine. We take too long to get ready, and many of us talk too much. Get used to it, men. These are small sins you should probably get to forgiving.  A small sub-sector of our gender gives us a bad name for the following reasons: being high maintenance, gold-digging, behaving like a whore, walking all over you, using our “assets” to get what we want, and being an all-around wretched bitch. I will not defend these women, as I pretty much hate them as much as you do. Now, getting on with it…

Y’all are infuriating. As of late, my Twitter feed seems to be full of my female friends lamenting the wrongdoings of the guys in their lives. Yes, there is just as much moaning (not the pleasurable kind) coming from those of you who have penises, but based upon personal experience, you’re just as guilty as the ladies, if not more so. Here it is, men… what we women long for you to know.

• The headgames have got to stop. Maybe you don’t even realize it, but you play them. We all do, whether it be intentional or not… but I’ve been the victim of this more than I care to admit. Whether it be the guy you were once in love with who keeps throwing you little tidbits here and there to string you along, making you think a chance at reconciliation could perhaps be on the horizon somewhere or the new guy who engages you in a weird power struggle in which both of you try to play it cool – so cool, in fact, that one or both of you loses interest and isn’t willing to make an effort anymore, it seems male/female interactions are hard pressed to not become riddled with psychological landmines. Here’s a thought. If you aren’t interested in a woman, don’t continue to do things that make her think you are. If you are interested in a woman, stop playing hard to get. I’d love to know the reason why being straight with someone has fallen to the wayside.

• Don’t say things or promise things you don’t mean. This goes hand in hand with the game-playing. Believe it or not, generally within the first few minutes of meeting you, a woman has already made the decision as to whether or not she will sleep with you if the opportunity arises. Therefore, telling her you love her when you don’t, telling her you want her to have your children when you don’t, or essentially feeding her any bullshit you want to hear when trying to get those panties to drop is unnecessary. It’s grimy, it’s cruel, and it makes you an asshole. Additionally, making promises you have no intention of keeping is shitty. Really shitty. If you promise us a romantic evening, please deliver. You wouldn’t like it if we promised you a blowjob then didn’t deliver, would you? Didn’t think so. You wonder why leagues of women are quick to label all men as pigs? The propensity of some men to do whatever it takes to get a piece. Not all, as I refuse to generalize – I have many a guy friend who treats women with respect and who are genuinely good guys. Don’t bullshit us, and we won’t bullshit you.

• If you want to break up or end things, don’t just disappear. Be a man. Tell us it isn’t working out anymore, and allow us to go our separate ways like grown ups. Years ago, a guy I was involved with just disappeared. He had someone else answer his cell and pretend that he had changed his number, and fell off the face of the earth. It wasn’t until almost a year later when we ran into each other on campus that we spoke again; he and I are friends now – believe it or not. He admitted that he fucked up and should’ve had the balls to just end things… his admission was the only reason I even considered talking to him again. This scenario happened before I was even 20 years old. A few friends of mine are going through this now – they were dating a guy, then BAM! He is either distant, disappears completely, or is overcome with such apathy that he can’t even ask “why?” when she cancels a date. Have the common decency to explain why you don’t want to be involved anymore. Women are overly-analytical creatures by nature, and will drive themselves crazy wondering what they did wrong to drive you away.

• Don’t talk shit. We find out. We always, always find out. Don’t make shit up about us, don’t make lewd comments, and don’t tout your opinions on who we are or are not sleeping with if you don’t expect it to get back to us – it always does, and it pisses us off.

• Own up. Take Responsibility. If you fuck up, just say so.  I have been involved in so many arguments with men during which they refuse to acknowledge any wrong-doing. Here’s a hint, boys. If you say, ” I was wrong,” or “I’m sorry. I fucked up,” us women don’t have much ammo to argue against that with. I know you feel admitting your wrong is a sign of weakness, but really, it’s probably a solid way to get out of that argument and move on to the makeup sex.

• If you turn us down for sex, we will be hurt. Maybe you’re tired. Maybe it’s been a rough day. Maybe you just jerked off before our arrival to your home. Maybe you pulled a hamstring. Maybe you just don’t feel like having sex. We women tend to be in the habit of thinking men are up for getting down and dirty anywhere, anytime. Having spoken with many of my male friends about this, that is apparently a myth. Here’s the thing, men. If we take the initiative to make the first move in getting your pants off and you’re not in the mood, be gentle. Our occasionally insecure female brains will likely think you think something is wrong or unsexy about us and that whatever flaw that may be turns you off. Reassure us that this isn’t the case… and make sure to make us feel like a sex goddess later on when you’re in the mood. I promise, it’ll pay off.

• Sometimes, we all have to be grown-ups. A recent complaint of many of my female friends is that the guy they are seeing is some sort of partially developed man-child. You know, that dude who has no sense of when the time to be an adult arises. The one who can’t get his shit together long enough to keep his commitments or have a serious conversation about anything. Personally, I love a guy who can find humor in any situation and make me laugh… even if he’s making me laugh at myself for being ridiculous. What I also love, though, is a guy who can get serious and handle business when necessary. Burying your head in the sand and being unwilling to face a situation head-on makes us question how you’ll handle things with us when they get serious.

Again, I’m not feigning innocence for the fairer sex here. If you check back a few posts, you will see I called the ladies out on their own list of unacceptable behaviors.

I think that’s all I have for now. Please take the above into consideration, and maybe we’ll try to stop driving you as crazy as we do.

XOXO,

The Walking Mishap

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