I have touched on this subject before, but I would like to head back into territory that is probably going to piss some people off. Perhaps if it pisses you off, it’s because it applies to you…
Ladies, here we go.
STOP. HATING. ON. EACH. OTHER.
Easy as that. Admittedly, I have been guilty of this in the past. Additionally, I have been a victim of it as well. We all have. We have hated on each other since roughly the beginning of time, and I’ve come to realize, it’s some bullshit. Here is my plea, to KNOCK IT OFF. KNOCKITTHEFUCKOFF.
Females tend to hate on each other for the following reasons:
1. Jealousy
2. Some uncalled for sense of competition
3. Jealousy
So let’s say you’re out with a group of guys, and an attractive female walks into the room. The guys, being well… guys, they all begin to stare and/or comment about the attractiveness/fuckability of said female.
Do you:
A) Quickly find or fabricate a flaw and announce it to the group? (ex. “She has weird eyes.” “She’s too thin.” “She looks like a whore.”)
B) Ignore them and go about your business
C) Compliment something about her (ex. “She’s really pretty.” “I love her shoes.” “I’d hit it if I were into chicks.”)
If you answered A, ladies, we really need to reevaluate some things. The guys you’re out with are hanging out with you. If one of them is your boyfriend, he is with you for a reason. Just because he looks at another chick doesn’t mean he doesn’t adore you. I’m not saying you can’t be a bit annoyed with the fact that he’s blatantly ogling, but get over it. You look too. If the guys you are hanging out with AREN’T your boyfriend, it’s clear they are your friends and enjoy spending time with you. Their commenting on another woman doesn’t make you less their friend… it makes them men. It’s what they do. Also, I have it on pretty good authority from guys that I’ve been involved with/friends with: nothing turns them off more than an insecure female.
For further elaboration, I give you Jenna Marbles:
Now, reasons that makes it kind of okay to “hate on” another female:
1) She blatantly hit on your boyfriend/slept with your boyfriend/tried to sleep with your boyfriend KNOWING that he was your boyfriend.
2) She is just an awful bitch – however, to make this determination, you must converse with her/interact with her. No “I just know she’s a bitch because she looks like one” bullshit.
3) She has/is partaking in crazy stalker bitch behavior… ie. anonymous, unreasonable text messaging, harassment, shit talking, etc.
Now, this does not mean shit talking to anyone who will listen is acceptable. If you’re going to vent, do so to only one or two friends. Preferably not people who are mutual friends of hers. Furthermore, if you REALLY have beef… handle it like a grown ass woman and tell her about herself. Not publicly, but let her know what’s up. Maybe she’ll respect you for it and you two can move past it.
That’s it for now.
XOXO
Laura Jane Grace, Way More Punk Than You.
11 MayTommy Gabel of Against Me! comes out as Transgender – way more punk than any of you.
**Disclaimer** I am a straight woman who has never once questioned her sexual orientation or her gender. I am not entirely educated on the subject, nor do I know anyone who is transgender. This is probably not even a topic I should be sticking my nose in on, but I am in complete awe of the balls (no pun intended) it must take not only to come out as transgender, but to do so in such a public, out-in-the-open manner.
A couple of nights ago, a friend of mine tweeted me this article, asking if I had seen it. Tom Gabel, the frontman of one of my favorite punk bands, Against Me!, had come out as transgender and would be living as Laura Jane Grace from here on out. After having a “HOLY SHIT, NO WAY,” moment, I was simply impressed and in awe of what it must have taken to invite Rolling Stone into her home, and to share this with them, knowing it would be national news once the magazine hit print. My biggest question, in all honesty and selfish as it may be, was “what does this mean for the band?” – because honestly, they’re badass. Their song “Thrash Unreal” got me through some pretty hard times, when I thought diving to the bottom of a bottle was the best solution for my problems. Tom’s (I use Tom and he in the next few sentences because I’m speaking in past-tense, and the music I’m referring to was performed as Tom. voice is gritty to the core, a perfect fit for the type of music Against Me! plays. Tom’s solo album, Heart Burns, is an even better example. For the sake of exposing yourself to kick ass music, see the following:
Thrash Unreal
Harsh Realm
Anyway… in the full Rolling Stone article (highly recommended – you need to be a subscriber to Rolling Stone to get it in full online, otherwise I’d link it), Laura answers that question. She says, “Imagine me, six foot two, in heels, fucking screaming in someone’s face.” HELL FUCKING YES, is what I have to say to that.
I think the most enlightening and awesome part of the whole article, is the immense support and apparent lack of trepidation from Heather Gabel, Laura’s wife. She has decided, in the face of such a major change, to stand by her spouse. How many women do you know that would do that? Would you be able to stay with your spouse or significant other if they one day told you that they were born in the body of the wrong sex? As much as I would love to say I absolutely would, I’m not sure I can say so without actually being put in the position to make said decision. Heather’s got a long road ahead of her, just as Laura does, and I am so impressed with the things she said in the RS article.
As expected/hoped… it seems as though the punk community is supporting Laura Jane Grace with open arms. So many of the bands/artists that I follow (Cory Branan, NoFx, Lawrence Arms, The Gaslight Anthem, Dave Hause, and many others) all either directly or not so directly tweeted and/or blogged their support for a fellow punk rocker whom many of them have toured with. In reading more and more articles, it seems as though while the majority of the feedback is positive, there are some assholes who just have nothing nice to say. I won’t dignify their ignorance and intolerance (and frankly, their lack of humanity) toward Laura by putting it here in print, but I can say, it is some of the most ugly hatespeech I’ve ever had the displeasure of reading. Those people are the reason I’m writing this.
Some of these folks claim to be “deeply rooted” in the punk scene – “fans” of Against Me! who have been there since day one – and they have not only made awful comments about Laura’s decision, but in some comments I’ve seen, they say Laura goes against everything that IS punk. Excuse me… to those people, all I have to say is FUCK YOU. I know people who consider themselves punk that wear suits to work every day. Who have spent their youth in church basements and who have lived, breathed, eaten, and slept punk rock. Who, if you were to run into them on the street, you’d have no idea they’re covered in ink and rage out in their car to the likes of Against Me! and The Ramones. It’s not the clothes you wear, it’s not the job you have, it’s not anything but WHO YOU ARE and WHAT YOU STAND FOR. At it’s core, isn’t punk about being whoever the fuck you want to be? What it boils down to, at least in my humble opinion, is simply being yourself and not giving a shit what anyone has to say about it. That’s the most simplified explanation I can give.
Based on that philosophy, Laura Jane Grace is more punk rock than anyone in recent memory. Good for her.
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